live

Apercebi-me com alguma comoção que o terceiro calhau a contar do Sol completou 20 orbitas em redor do mesmo desde que comecei a escrever aqui . Vinte anos é um número redondo, talvez redondo demais para se deixar passar em branco.

Estava eu na grande cidade e recordo-me como alimentava desencantos, desejos e aspirações a milhares de eventos que nunca que se cumpririam e tive a necessidade de ter um elo que me ligasse aos meus amigos e colegas na minha cidade. Existia a necessidade egocêntrica de afirmar que eu ainda existo, de partilha de vivências e até algum exibicionismo. E foi nesse registo que embarquei na escrita do Diário de um meliante.

Confesso que batismo deste blog/díario não foi muito feliz, em primeiro lugar porque eu nunca padeci de psicoses e em segundo lugar porque de meliante tinha muito pouco. No enredo da época, onde a internet era um campo de anonimato e se vivia a liberdade digital que o 11 de Setembro desse ano veio por fim, talvez apimentar o titulo do blog me desse o distanciamento para aliviar algum pudor ou timidez na linguagem e pelo menos isso foi conseguido.

Vinte anos passados recordo com nostalgia aquela data, mesmo que fosse um período da minha vida, carregado de emoções fortes e desencantamentos de um jovem adulto. À luz do que sei hoje posso afirmar que todo aquele histerismo fazia parte dos conturbados anos que se seguiriam. Por isso me confesso: muitas das razões que me compeliram para escrever o Psicótico resultavam de uma enorme tempestade interna e incapacidade para gerir o que eu desejava e o que estava disposto a abdicar para obter o que queria, quer na carreira, quer ma vida amorosa. E não foi fácil, manter como um bom malabarista todas as bolas no ar, tentando manter todas as encruzilhadas do destino em aberto sem me comprometer com uma direção definitiva que só existia na minha mente histérica. Claro que as bolas acabariam por cair uma por uma mas felizmente mantive a minha sanidade a custo de algumas tristezas e desilusões.

Volvidos vinte anos encontro a satisfação de ter tido a sorte de ter atingido um dos principais trofeus a que me tinha proposto: a mulher pela qual eu era secretamente apaixonado e que eu desesperadamente tentava chamar a atenção (inclusivemente escrevendo aqui) está agora casada comigo. Talvez não haja maior vitória sobre o destino que o facto de ter deambulado e batido com a cabeça nas paredes, a minha vida amorosa é recompensada com uma medalha de ouro. A família que constituí é o meu mais precioso tesouro que tinha desejado há exatamente 20 anos e presumo que poucos podem afirmar o mesmo.

Mesmo que algumas personagens, apenas referidas pelas suas iniciais tenham sumido da minha lista de contactos, apraz-me dizer que a esmagadora maioria faz parte do meu cotidiano. Algumas estão perto do meu coração, espalhadas pelo mundo mas dando sempre o pulsar da amizade que só se vai desvanecer na campa. A vida me é assim suave, felizmente.

Mesmo que a minha vida profissional não seja um mar de rosas, e que não esteja nem perto do que tinha imaginado há vinte anos, não me posso queixar muito. Mesmo que eu tenha envelhecido há ainda alguns bons resquícios de juventude e a maturidade não tem estragado em demasia o meu espirito sonhador. Ao fim ao cabo tudo é transiente e estou feliz e em paz.

Parabéns Psicótico.

End of the World Notification Service
11:50 (há 9 minutos)

para mim
*************************************
END OF THE WORLD NOTIFICATION SERVICE
*************************************

December 21st 2012

This is a notification to inform you that the world will be ending shortly.

The world will be ending due the following reason: Mayan Prediction.

Apart from some flooding in Southern England, there have been no signs of the armageddon yet. However, we at the End Of The World Notification Service are still ready and we hope you are too.

We advise that you take the short time you have left on Earth to either repent, spend time with your loved ones or seek shelter in a network of caves.

About the Mayans and their doom-calendar: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2012_phenomenon

**************
END OF MESSAGE
**************

Now the future’s staring at me
Like a vision from the past
And I know these crumbs they sold me
They’re never going to last

Though we know the culture war
We don’t know what it’s for
But we’ve lived a southern strategy
But no, it’s never going to last
So keep it in the past

These are different times that we’re living in
These are different times
Now the kids are growing up so fast
They’re paying for our crimes

You left while I was sleeping
You said it’s damning
Oh, I’ve read a little Bible
You see what you want to see

Oh, we know the culture war
We don’t know what it’s for
But we’ve lived your southern strategy
We know it’s never going to last
So keep that shit in the past

These are different times that we’re living in
Because these are different times
Now the kids are growing up so fast
They’re paying for our crimes

These are different times that we’re living in
These are different times
Now the kids are growing up so fast
They’re paying for our crimes

The dominos, they never fell
Our bodies they still burn
I throw my hand into the fire
But still I never learn
Will I ever learn?

These are different times
Now the kids are growing up so fast
Paying for our crimes

We’ll be soldiers for mommy and dad
In your culture wars

We’ll be soldiers for mommy and dad
Don’t know what it’s for

We’re soldiers now
In the culture war

We’re soldiers now
But we don’t know what it’s for

We’re soldiers now
In the culture war

We’re soldiers now
But we don’t know what it’s for

So tell me, what’s it for?

You want it? You got it
Here’s your culture war

You want it, now you got it
So tell me, what’s it for?

You want it? You got it
Here’s your culture war

You want it, now you got it
So tell me what’s it for?

Yeah tell me, what’s it for?

Letra de Arcade Fire

And surely we will die without memory
coming to cold in the shadow of space
& if it isn’t too late
for the star to love you
spraying the sky w/ whispers
attuned to galaxies hungry for flame
And if the tongue of night sings
of Albino winos
till the morning light shafts
the doorway
then surely we will die tonight
faceless at the White
Gate
sharing the smoke
w/ ancient shapes in future garb
and you stand somewhere there
on the other side
feeding on the pain of dreamlessness
Wherefrom the misty morning of
white shadows
& the unresisting need to destroy?

Samael, Samael, I beg it may be forgiven
that they may be driven
out of the black into the white
Only let the dazzle remain
for gamblers to surprise,
the strategic diamond, the throne
of compressed bone
in the unshored dark
where only light can forgive
& your mind is singed
Embers of echoes in the vastness
disguise the yearning to burn
blind eyes
in arrogant displays of feeling
Running wild these beasts will feast
on the newborn kind
for surely we will die tonight
unless we learn to ignore
what the others live for
on the other side of morning
& the Skin of Nothing left by the same
summer
masks the faceless wanderer

O let it happen,
this weird to discover
the shape of Beauty in everything
extreme
for surely we will die tonight
whether we will or whether we
dream
O Samael, forgive the dreamer
forgive the dream

The Song of Nothing is your lullabye.

Poema de Ira Cohen

Once in a while I need a friend
So why won’t you let me recover
It’s just a moment in your life
But sometimes we divide each other

Maybe we could find a time
Eliminate what’s on your mind
We’d do everything we could
Our presence in the neighbourhood

We could break every rule
Anytime we wanted to
Don’t be afraid to live this way
Lets defend the things we say

I want to be up in the air
I could be anywhere
Tell me I’m wrong, at least till tomorrow
Set me free and I will follow

Maybe we could find a time
To elevate what’s on your mind
Recreate for me and you
A master plan just for two

We could break every rule
Anytime we wanted to
Don’t be afraid to live this way
Lets defend the things we say
Elevate what’s on your mind
Eliminate what’s on your mind

An example of the former would be warmongering President George W Bush and all-American action hero Sylvester Stallone, both born on 6th July 1946. In both lives the themes of patriotism and aggression are very much to the fore and we see a theme.

Starscan Astrological Services (o meu bom amigo Pete)

January 5, 2004
Pisces
Horoscope: Today you could feel a little frustrated about romance, (omitido). You could be challenged by some logistical problems. Maybe your sweetheart lives far away, and it has become difficult to maintain your long-distance relationship. Or perhaps one of you is traveling all the time for work, disrupting your time together. Try not to let outside circumstances discourage you. If the relationship is still a powerful one, it's worth a little extra effort!

See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you

Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait without you

With or without you
With or without you

Through the storm we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more
And I’m waiting for you

With or without you
With or without you
I can’t live
With or without you

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

My hands are tied
My body bruised, she’s got me with
Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

With or without you
With or without you
I can’t live
With or without you

With or without you
With or without you
I can’t live
With or without you
With or without you

Emerge

Hyper –
Hy, Hyper
Hypermediocrity

You don’t
Need to
Emerge
From nothing

You don’t
Need to
Tear away

Feels good
Looks good
Sounds good
Looks good

Feels good too
Feels good too
Uh-huh that’s right
Feels good too
Uh-huh that’s right

You don’t need to
Emerge from nothing
You don’t need
To tear away
You don’t need to
Emerge from nothing
You don’t need
To tear away

You don’t need to
Emerge from nothing
You don’t need
To tear away
You don’t need to
Emerge from nothing
You don’t need
To tear away

???????

Uh huh that’s right
Uh huh that’s right

???????

You don’t need to
Emerge from nothing
You don’t need
To tear away
You don’t need to
Emerge from nothing
You don’t need
To tear away

You don’t need to
Emerge from nothing
You don’t need
To tear away
You don’t need to
Emerge from nothing
You don’t need
To tear away

Look alive!

You don’t
Need to
Emerge
From nothing
You don’t
Need to
Tear away
You don’t need to
Emerge from nothing
You don’t need
To tear away

Saudoso de Búzios e fazendo horas para apanhar o võo da TAM para FOR, estou já sentido o ausentar do stress da vidinha europeia.

A praia de Geripá foi gostosa, e deu para apreciar um chopp gostoso com casquinha de siri e isca de peixe, bem no meio da praia. Na praia de Ferradorinha foi muito bom também. Já estou pegando uma corzinha castanhinha.
O Eleven em Cabo Frio foi nosso local de diversão favorito, não só pela abundancia de caça grossa, como também pela música animada.
correndo tudo bem, a galera tá manera e tem rolado muita coisa de bom.
Agora tenho que ir que a hora do meu voo tá chegando.

Alive
Estou aborrecido.
Quero férias e tomar banho no mar.
Quero um bronzeado.
Quero um notebook.
Quero
Quero
Quero
Quero